Disclaimer

On January 1, 2009, I started an experiment to write one new joke every day for at least one year. As 2009 rolled forward, the universe proceeded to deal me a series of events that left me with no lack of inspiration for new material. Most of these jokes have found their way into my on-stage routine, and most of them have become staples of my act.

Now that I have made it through my first year, my focus has shifted from quantity to quality. I still update with new jokes, just not on my original every frickin' day deadline. Please feel free to grade these jokes, and heckle them. If a joke gets heckled enough, I will go back and make them better. I want to make sure my audience gets their money's worth, even though this is a free service.
Showing posts with label veterans. Show all posts
Showing posts with label veterans. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 11

Not likely to pass

Today is Veteran's Day, and in honor of this day, I would like to propose legislation that would require all members of Congress, during any public appearance honoring the troops, to wear a sign listing their voting record on veteran's issues. What the hell... Let's make it interesting: send their security details home for the day as well.

Friday, April 3

Some people never learn

There was a homeless guy downtown the other day carrying a sign that said VIETNAM VET. The guy looked a little young to me, so I asked him how old he was. His response, 47... which would've made him about 13 when the war ended. So, I did what any respectable citizen would do: I reported his ass to the local VFW. They sent a bunch of 85-year-old WWII vets over there to beat the crap out of him.

I saw the guy again today, on the same corner, but a new sign: DISABLED VIETNAM VET.