Disclaimer

On January 1, 2009, I started an experiment to write one new joke every day for at least one year. As 2009 rolled forward, the universe proceeded to deal me a series of events that left me with no lack of inspiration for new material. Most of these jokes have found their way into my on-stage routine, and most of them have become staples of my act.

Now that I have made it through my first year, my focus has shifted from quantity to quality. I still update with new jokes, just not on my original every frickin' day deadline. Please feel free to grade these jokes, and heckle them. If a joke gets heckled enough, I will go back and make them better. I want to make sure my audience gets their money's worth, even though this is a free service.
Showing posts with label Turkeys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Turkeys. Show all posts

Friday, November 27

Explain that, Darwin!

Every year at Thanksgiving, animal rights organizations start their push for people to stop killing turkeys. Look, I love animals as much as anyone, but the fact remains that turkeys that are one of the only animals so stupid that they can drown in a rainstorm. Turkey farmers don't even chop their heads off any more. They just turn on the sprinklers. Hell, I'm surprised Creationists don't use them as an argument against Natural Selection.
© 2009, Dan No comments:
Labels:

Sunday, November 22

We could call it the Kenmore lobe

A recent estimate states that over 1,000 house fires and over 10,000 severe bodily burns every year are caused by incorrectly deep-frying a turkey. If evolution worked the way it should, within a generation or two, the human brain would be hard wired to instinctively use the damn oven!
© 2009, Dan No comments:
Labels: ,
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)