Let the conspiracy theories commence.

Elvis, the King of Rock and Roll... Bernie Mac, one of the Original Kings of Comedy... Micheal Jackson, the King of Pop... Is it just me, or is being labeled as royalty in show business a bit of a death sentence? I, for one, only aspire to a lesser title, like Duke or Knight... Less of a chance of dying suddenly.

Boo, mofo!

There comes a time in every one's life where you just want to die, if anything, just to be able to haunt the crap out of everyone. Did you ever see the movie Poltergeist? Yeah, I could be down for some of that action.

Cheap Date

Just how low is my alcohol tolerance? Well, if I were to play the Leaving Las Vegas home game, it'd cost me thirty bucks, tops.

That's my time, folks!

There are three worst case scenarios for Stand-up Comics: First is death on stage, where no one is laughing at your material. Second is literal death on stage, because, well, you're dead. But the worst, I would imagine, is near death on stage. Because how are you gonna top having a heart attack? The audience would then be expecting that from you every time!