A shitty night, in more than one way

I had a horrible experience with an irate heckler at the club last night. Even after he had left the club, he proceeded to repeatedly call the box office to complain about me, getting angrier and more threatening with each call. This was the first time I have left a comedy club fearing death. When I got home, I thought some TV would help me take my mind off things, but the first thing that came up when I turned on the TV was AMC showing Cape Fear. I turned it on just in time to hear Deniro screaming "COME OUT, COME OUT, WHEREVER YOU ARE!!!"

So, I shit my pants and went to bed.

They had to remove him from the hall with a forklift

Representative Joe Wilson (R-SC) heckled the President tonight. He has since apologized, blaming it on back pain caused by the weight and strain of his massive balls.

Yeah, I remember my first beer...

I experienced my strangest heckler to date. I started out my set with "Good evening, Tulsa!", and a guy in the back yells out, "DALLAS!"

100,000 words in the English language, and this guy chooses one that isn't even legal in Scrabble.