Last Twilight joke of 2009, I swear

I see they have Twilight action figures, which is the only time those characters will have any dimension.

Not to mention finding an actress with measurements of 36-12-38

I just read that they're making a live-action Barbie movie. The challenge I see is casting a crotchless actor to play Ken. I mean, that guy from Twilight is pretty booked up these days.

*On a side note, I know it's pretty unfair for me to mock Twilight so often when I've never seen and never plan on seeing the movie or read the books. To me, it'd be like taking a cordless drill to my kneecap: I know it's gonna be nothing but pain and I'll never be able to let go of that memory.

Or, since Twilight came out, would they just sparkle?

What effect would sunless suntan lotion have on a vampire? You'd think it would be as effective as holy water or garlic. The trouble is, if you're close enough to apply it, you're pretty much already doomed. Perhaps if you could push the vampire into a spray-on tanning booth...