A full day for me.

It's a bright, sunny day. Peaceful, quiet. I think I'll go to the park and throw squirrels at joggers. Then, I'll scream at that statue near City Hall. After that, a latte.

Show some smoke to match that fire in your belly

I'm tempted to join these town hall protests. I want to stand in the middle of all the protesters chanting along with them, getting louder and louder, getting everyone really worked up. Then, I'll pull a gas can out of my backpack (that's filled with water), and start pouring it over my head. Then, I pull out a Zippo and start flicking it. I just wanna see how many people try to stop me, but more importantly, how many people want to join me.

We just might live the good life yet

I keep a mix CD of TV theme songs in my car at all times. Just in case I pull up to a red light next to someone blaring their music at full blast, I pop in that disc and crank up the tunes. There's nothing quite like the look on a gangsta wannabe's face when they see me rocking out to Mr. Belvedere.

This is why I'm banned from Wikipedia

One fun thing I like to do when I'm over at someone's house is to open up their Trivial Pursuit games and glue together the cards, so the answers on the back don't match the questions on the front. My hope is to see if any of the wrong answers later get used in conversation as applied knowledge. "Did you know the Moonwalk was first popularized by Warren G. Harding?"

Striking fear in others can be fun!

Here's something fun to do next time you're out: Go to a bookstore and grab a book about mass murderers. Then go sit in the café, flip through the book and occasionally chuckle and say, "Fucking amateurs." If anyone looks over at you, nod your head at them and take a sip of your latte.

Follow up question: Seriously?

I've always wanted to sneak into a press conference somewhere just to mess with the speaker. I'd get called upon and I'd ask something completely off-topic, like, "Senator, I have a two part question: Would you like the rest of this cake, and if not, are you sure? It's good cake." Just the thought of an entire press corp staring at me blankly and the security guards not quite knowing what to do... It just makes me giggle.

Guess the impulse item

I think the reason I'm broke all the time is because I like to buy a lot of unnecessary items every time I'm at the store, just so the clerk will think I'm insane. It's all in how you pair things up. Bottle of Jack Daniels and a home pregnancy test. Box of rat poison and a mylar balloon that says Thinking of You. Or the one I tried the other day: box of Kleenex, bottle of lotion and a Dora the Explorer DVD. That one was fun. They nearly called the cops on my ass.