Audience Participation Caption Contest

Post your captions in the Heckler's section below.

Here are mine for the week:

1. And the Lord replied, "When you saw only one set of crab walk prints in the sand, that is when I carried you."

2. Bob always freaked the fuck out whenever he dropped a contact.

3. Don't look at him, Stacy. You'll only encourage him.

Audience Participation Caption Contest

Post your captions in the Heckler's section below.

Here are mine for the week:

1. Ah, Mr. Goofy. You have a nasty habit of surviving.

2. When all legal means have failed, Disney's lawyers call in "The Fixer."

3. They told me there was no film in that camera!

Audience participation caption contest

Post your captions in the Heckler's Section below.

Here are mine for the week:

1. Later that night, when the duck was inside the fortress walls, the most adorable invasion ever began.

2. It was their last hope to defeat the 50 foot Ernie before all of Sesame Street was lost.

3. This is what happens when you put Marshmallow Peeps in the microwave.

Audience participation caption contest

Post your captions in the Heckler's section below.Here are mine for the week:

1. Hell, it ain't any dumber looking than a Bluetooth.

2. "Doc says I have to wear this so I don't chew on my stitches."

3. Every time I go to the movies, some jackass like this always sits in front of me.

Audience participation caption contest

Post your captions in the Heckler's section below:Here are mine for the week:

1. Did you drop a contact, or is this a glitch in the Matrix?

2. I have a sneaking suspicion that the tuna rolls were not dolphin safe.

3. This restaurant kinda gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "You got served!"

Audience participation caption contest

Post your captions in the Hecklers section below.

Here are mine for the week:

1. Some say the secret ingredient is love... and Angel Dust.

2. Sure, it's a bit crazy, but they're just psyching themselves up to shop at Best Buy at 4 a.m.

3. Yet another reason to regret my mother getting a Facebook account, a scanner and a need to remember the "good ol' days."

Audience participation caption contest

Post your captions in the Heckler's section below.

Here are mine for the week:

1. I'm making a ruling right now: Heath Ledger impersonations have officially jumped the shark.

2. Officer, anything you might be tempted to do is perfectly justifiable. Besides, who's gonna convince a mime to testify?

3. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say, honk, squirt out of a flower, shape out of a balloon, etc. will be held against you...

Audience participation caption contest

Post your captions in the helcker's section below.


Here are mine for the week:

1. Every girl I've dated has described their ex-boyfriend to be just like this.

2. Wallace Shawn's Playgirl spread was the worst selling issue ever!

3. Look, just tell us where the truffles are and we'll let you go!

Audience participation caption contest

Post your captions in the heckler's section below.

Here are mine for the week:

1. Jose Cuervo paid big money for the distribution of this photo.

2. Why do I think of England when I look at this?

3. This is what every conservative Christian imagines when someone mentions gay marriage.

Audience participation caption contest

Post your captions in the heckler's section below.

Here are mine for the week:

1. "I told you not to touch my daughter!"

2. Yogi learned the hard way not to steal pic-a-nic baskets from Russian mobsters.

3. Yeah, sure, Bob was tough enough to make a bear want to piss itself, but just wait until the next time his wife asks him to buy tampons. Homeboy buckles like a belt.

Audience participation caption contest

Post your captions in the hecklers section below.



Here are mine for the week:

1. George W. Bush's America, ladies and gentlemen.

2. Centuries later, William Wallace is still pissing off British officials.

3. That was a chump call, ref, and you know it! Sticking, my ass!

Audience participation caption contest

Post your captions in the hecklers section below.



Here are mine for the week:

1. They all knew it was a mistake casting Mel Brooks as Flava Flav, but the director was willing to take a gamble.

2. Good to know that I'm not the only one visited by the Golden Imp at one o'clock in the morning.

3. Whatever magical kingdom this is, I feel the U.N. should bomb the fuck out of it on general principle.

Audience participation caption contest

Add your captions in the Hecklers section below.


Here are mine for the week:

1. Dear Diary: JACKPOT!

2. Hey! My eyes are up here! No, higher... higher still...

3. This is the easiest way to tell when a sculptor hasn't had a date in a while.

Audience participation caption contest

Post your captions in the heckler's section below.


Here are my three for the week:

1. Or, as Amy Winehouse calls it: Tuesday.

2. While Coca-Cola sells more, Pepsi definitely had better advertising.

3. eHarmony can't hold a candle to Craigslist.

Audience participation caption contest

Add your captions in the heckler's section below.


Here are my three for the week:

1. We came here to do two things: Drink beer and creep people the fuck out. And we're all out of beer.

2. "What the hell are you staring at?!?"

3. Images like this make me scream my safe word at the top of my lungs. In case you're wondering, it's "jalapeño".

Audience participation caption contest

Post your captions in the heckles section below.Here are my three for the week:

1. Jeff Foxworthy's The Godfather Part II. "I knew it was you, Bill Engvall. You broke my heart."

2. Ball's in your court, FEMA.

3. I'm not calling the Coast Guard again. They'll only laugh at me.

Audience participation caption contest*

In honor of this, my 250th post, I'm adding a new feature to the site: a caption contest! I'll put three (and only three) captions to start with, and it's up to you, the audience to join in the fun! New picture every Monday! Post your captions in the heckling section.

*not an actual contest, because I can't afford prizes... Nor do I possess the will to narrow it down to a winner. Just go with it, OK?

Here's this week's picture:


Here are my captions for the week:

1) And another make-up artist gets his union card.

2) Funny, I always figured C-3PO was the bottom in that relationship.

3) I find myself looking over my own affinity for Star Wars and feeling a lot more macho by contrast.