Disclaimer

On January 1, 2009, I started an experiment to write one new joke every day for at least one year. As 2009 rolled forward, the universe proceeded to deal me a series of events that left me with no lack of inspiration for new material. Most of these jokes have found their way into my on-stage routine, and most of them have become staples of my act.

Now that I have made it through my first year, my focus has shifted from quantity to quality. I still update with new jokes, just not on my original every frickin' day deadline. Please feel free to grade these jokes, and heckle them. If a joke gets heckled enough, I will go back and make them better. I want to make sure my audience gets their money's worth, even though this is a free service.

Sunday, January 3

She's the reason I'm starting to suck.

The new year is really looking good so far. I met a great girl recently. She's smart, beautiful, sexy, we have tons in common, and we get along wonderfully. All of this seems to be adding up to one very sobering truth: my comedy career is fucking over! See, I write jokes based on my own personal experiences, and heretofore that has relied heavily on a very specific level of misery. I don't know if I have it in me to be both happy and funny at the same time.