New Joke, Different Day: Audience participation caption contest

Disclaimer

On January 1, 2009, I started an experiment to write one new joke every day for at least one year. As 2009 rolled forward, the universe proceeded to deal me a series of events that left me with no lack of inspiration for new material. Most of these jokes have found their way into my on-stage routine, and most of them have become staples of my act.

Now that I have made it through my first year, my focus has shifted from quantity to quality. I still update with new jokes, just not on my original every frickin' day deadline. Please feel free to grade these jokes, and heckle them. If a joke gets heckled enough, I will go back and make them better. I want to make sure my audience gets their money's worth, even though this is a free service.

Monday, November 16

Audience participation caption contest

Post your captions in the Heckler's section below.

Here are mine for the week:

1. I'm making a ruling right now: Heath Ledger impersonations have officially jumped the shark.

2. Officer, anything you might be tempted to do is perfectly justifiable. Besides, who's gonna convince a mime to testify?

3. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say, honk, squirt out of a flower, shape out of a balloon, etc. will be held against you...