Disclaimer

On January 1, 2009, I started an experiment to write one new joke every day for at least one year. As 2009 rolled forward, the universe proceeded to deal me a series of events that left me with no lack of inspiration for new material. Most of these jokes have found their way into my on-stage routine, and most of them have become staples of my act.

Now that I have made it through my first year, my focus has shifted from quantity to quality. I still update with new jokes, just not on my original every frickin' day deadline. Please feel free to grade these jokes, and heckle them. If a joke gets heckled enough, I will go back and make them better. I want to make sure my audience gets their money's worth, even though this is a free service.
Showing posts with label karma. Show all posts
Showing posts with label karma. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 2

You call THAT a flathead?!?

After a couple months and no new news in the investigation, I've lost hope that the cops will ever find the kid who stabbed me with a screwdriver. I guess I need to have faith that one day karma will take care of that kid. One day, he'll find himself in a fight with someone just like him. Just as impulsive, just as unwilling to fight fair... only that guy will have a gun. Or better yet, a bigger screwdriver!
© 2009, Dan No comments:
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Thursday, July 16

Next, I'll wash my car to make it rain

Back on April 30, I made a joke about always thinking about the worst-case scenario, wherein I made the comment "Well, at least I wasn't stabbed." That joke turned out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy, as last night I was, indeed, stabbed. Long story, read about it here.

So now, I'm writing a joke that a large breasted woman will hand me a Publisher's Clearing House check.
© 2009, Dan No comments:
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Tuesday, March 31

Boo-Ya!

Ever notice how when someone is being a sore winner, screaming "IN YOUR FACE!" and acting all macho that they almost always leave themselves open for a kick to the nuts? I think that's why they call it being cocky.
© 2009, Dan No comments:
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