On January 1, 2009, I started an experiment to write one new joke every day for at least one year. As 2009 rolled forward, the universe proceeded to deal me a series of events that left me with no lack of inspiration for new material. Most of these jokes have found their way into my on-stage routine, and most of them have become staples of my act.

Now that I have made it through my first year, my focus has shifted from quantity to quality. I still update with new jokes, just not on my original every frickin' day deadline. Please feel free to grade these jokes, and heckle them. If a joke gets heckled enough, I will go back and make them better. I want to make sure my audience gets their money's worth, even though this is a free service.

Monday, September 28

Audience participation caption contest

Post your captions in the heckler's section below.

Here are my three for the week:

1. Or, as Amy Winehouse calls it: Tuesday.

2. While Coca-Cola sells more, Pepsi definitely had better advertising.

3. eHarmony can't hold a candle to Craigslist.


  1. Why Vanilla and Coke don't go together!

  2. The don't call it coke for nothing!

  3. what Dee Snider is up to these days

  4. Coke...helping to keep your freak flag flying high.

  5. and i look so fab in purple
    dont i honey