Disclaimer

On January 1, 2009, I started an experiment to write one new joke every day for at least one year. As 2009 rolled forward, the universe proceeded to deal me a series of events that left me with no lack of inspiration for new material. Most of these jokes have found their way into my on-stage routine, and most of them have become staples of my act.

Now that I have made it through my first year, my focus has shifted from quantity to quality. I still update with new jokes, just not on my original every frickin' day deadline. Please feel free to grade these jokes, and heckle them. If a joke gets heckled enough, I will go back and make them better. I want to make sure my audience gets their money's worth, even though this is a free service.

Monday, October 5

Audience participation caption contest

Add your captions in the Hecklers section below.


Here are mine for the week:

1. Dear Diary: JACKPOT!

2. Hey! My eyes are up here! No, higher... higher still...

3. This is the easiest way to tell when a sculptor hasn't had a date in a while.
© 2009, Dan
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7 comments:

  1. CleverNameOctober 6, 2009 at 7:12 PM

    "At last, a woman I can truly appreciate." Said Vishnu.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousOctober 6, 2009 at 7:28 PM

    Thanks to the internet this isn't even a blip on my radar.

    ReplyDelete
  3. KimOctober 6, 2009 at 8:10 PM

    Hey it is a statue of the Octomom!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. CleverNameOctober 6, 2009 at 10:07 PM

    I tried to give her a pearl necklace, but fell asleep after two strands.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hilton!October 7, 2009 at 12:15 AM

    For my next trick, I will feed all of Africa.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousOctober 8, 2009 at 5:33 PM

    How freaking cool !
    If you are short, you need no stool.
    If you are tall, need not bend over.
    if one is tall and one is short, no problem

    there's plenty o'room at the trough

    ReplyDelete
  7. SteffenmaniaOctober 12, 2009 at 10:41 PM

    Made in God's own image...or at least some god.

    And I have a much better photo of this statue. What you can't see is that she has multiple rumps too.

    ReplyDelete

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