On January 1, 2009, I started an experiment to write one new joke every day for at least one year. As 2009 rolled forward, the universe proceeded to deal me a series of events that left me with no lack of inspiration for new material. Most of these jokes have found their way into my on-stage routine, and most of them have become staples of my act.

Now that I have made it through my first year, my focus has shifted from quantity to quality. I still update with new jokes, just not on my original every frickin' day deadline. Please feel free to grade these jokes, and heckle them. If a joke gets heckled enough, I will go back and make them better. I want to make sure my audience gets their money's worth, even though this is a free service.

Saturday, June 6

Good thing they keep these shots from the jury

Exactly how is it that every police station in this country can make all mug shots look the same way. Surely they're all using different cameras with different settings, and yet, they all have the same feel. Grainy texture, weird shadows, the lighting that provides all of the warmth of a Wal-Mart bathroom. How do they do it? I've worked in Photoshop for a long time, and there's no "Scary as hell" filter that I know of.

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