Disclaimer

On January 1, 2009, I started an experiment to write one new joke every day for at least one year. As 2009 rolled forward, the universe proceeded to deal me a series of events that left me with no lack of inspiration for new material. Most of these jokes have found their way into my on-stage routine, and most of them have become staples of my act.

Now that I have made it through my first year, my focus has shifted from quantity to quality. I still update with new jokes, just not on my original every frickin' day deadline. Please feel free to grade these jokes, and heckle them. If a joke gets heckled enough, I will go back and make them better. I want to make sure my audience gets their money's worth, even though this is a free service.

Sunday, September 6

When pallbearers become bouncers

There's this book called The Power of Positive Thinking, which states that there's no situation so bad that you can't put a positive spin on it, and that if you go through life thinking happy thoughts all the time that your life will be great. I think I speak for many of us in the real world when I say that's horse shit. Don't believe me, try that at a funeral sometime. Go up to the grieving widow and say, "Hey, look on the bright side..." After you get your head repeatedly slammed in a casket lid, come find me and tell me I was right.
© 2009, Dan
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