Disclaimer

On January 1, 2009, I started an experiment to write one new joke every day for at least one year. As 2009 rolled forward, the universe proceeded to deal me a series of events that left me with no lack of inspiration for new material. Most of these jokes have found their way into my on-stage routine, and most of them have become staples of my act.

Now that I have made it through my first year, my focus has shifted from quantity to quality. I still update with new jokes, just not on my original every frickin' day deadline. Please feel free to grade these jokes, and heckle them. If a joke gets heckled enough, I will go back and make them better. I want to make sure my audience gets their money's worth, even though this is a free service.

Tuesday, September 29

Not to mention finding an actress with measurements of 36-12-38

I just read that they're making a live-action Barbie movie. The challenge I see is casting a crotchless actor to play Ken. I mean, that guy from Twilight is pretty booked up these days.

*On a side note, I know it's pretty unfair for me to mock Twilight so often when I've never seen and never plan on seeing the movie or read the books. To me, it'd be like taking a cordless drill to my kneecap: I know it's gonna be nothing but pain and I'll never be able to let go of that memory.
© 2009, Dan
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