On January 1, 2009, I started an experiment to write one new joke every day for at least one year. As 2009 rolled forward, the universe proceeded to deal me a series of events that left me with no lack of inspiration for new material. Most of these jokes have found their way into my on-stage routine, and most of them have become staples of my act.

Now that I have made it through my first year, my focus has shifted from quantity to quality. I still update with new jokes, just not on my original every frickin' day deadline. Please feel free to grade these jokes, and heckle them. If a joke gets heckled enough, I will go back and make them better. I want to make sure my audience gets their money's worth, even though this is a free service.

Tuesday, September 1

Is that my lawn mower on eBay?

When I visited Graceland years ago, the first thing I noticed was that it was surrounded by middle-class housing developments. Wouldn't it have sucked to be Elvis' neighbor? Because to me, Elvis always seemed like the kind of guy who'd borrow something and never give it back. And one of his neighbors must've been pissed to later see his weed whacker on display years later.

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