New Joke, Different Day: No need to call a doctor, get me that patchouli scented dreadlocked white guy behind the deli counter

Disclaimer

On January 1, 2009, I started an experiment to write one new joke every day for at least one year. As 2009 rolled forward, the universe proceeded to deal me a series of events that left me with no lack of inspiration for new material. Most of these jokes have found their way into my on-stage routine, and most of them have become staples of my act.

Now that I have made it through my first year, my focus has shifted from quantity to quality. I still update with new jokes, just not on my original every frickin' day deadline. Please feel free to grade these jokes, and heckle them. If a joke gets heckled enough, I will go back and make them better. I want to make sure my audience gets their money's worth, even though this is a free service.

Friday, August 14

No need to call a doctor, get me that patchouli scented dreadlocked white guy behind the deli counter

I read an article about the CEO of Whole Foods writing an editorial blasting President Obama's health care plan, essentially saying that if people just bought food at his stores, they wouldn't need any health care. Wouldn't it be scary if he was right? Say you get hit by a car, and the one thing that'll stop the internal bleeding is pesticide free tofu.