On January 1, 2009, I started an experiment to write one new joke every day for at least one year. As 2009 rolled forward, the universe proceeded to deal me a series of events that left me with no lack of inspiration for new material. Most of these jokes have found their way into my on-stage routine, and most of them have become staples of my act.

Now that I have made it through my first year, my focus has shifted from quantity to quality. I still update with new jokes, just not on my original every frickin' day deadline. Please feel free to grade these jokes, and heckle them. If a joke gets heckled enough, I will go back and make them better. I want to make sure my audience gets their money's worth, even though this is a free service.

Sunday, August 23

My wish list requires footnotes

I have a friend who's really into The Secret. She's always telling me to visualize all of the things I want out of life and focus on them really hard. I'm too practical for such a mindset, because everything I want comes with a catch. It's like living my life with a big asterisk next to my head.

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