On January 1, 2009, I started an experiment to write one new joke every day for at least one year. As 2009 rolled forward, the universe proceeded to deal me a series of events that left me with no lack of inspiration for new material. Most of these jokes have found their way into my on-stage routine, and most of them have become staples of my act.

Now that I have made it through my first year, my focus has shifted from quantity to quality. I still update with new jokes, just not on my original every frickin' day deadline. Please feel free to grade these jokes, and heckle them. If a joke gets heckled enough, I will go back and make them better. I want to make sure my audience gets their money's worth, even though this is a free service.

Saturday, April 25

Great Scot!

One of my favorite films from my youth is Back to the Future. However, it's hard for me to watch that movie nowadays because I can't help but think about how much deep shit Doc Brown is in by the end of that movie. If you look at that story objectively, he's technically guilty of:
  1. Trespassing on the Twin Pines/Lone Pine Mall
  2. Vandalism (starting fires in the parking lot)
  3. Animal cruelty
  4. Operating an unlicensed vehicle (remember the license plate fell off the DeLorean)
  5. Possible firearms charge (depending on whether that .357 magnum was registered)
  6. Possession of an unstable element without a permit (Plutonium)
  7. Speeding (88 MPH within the city limits)
  8. Endangering the safety of a minor (poor Marty)
  9. Treason/Conspiring with enemies of the State (in this case, the Libyans)
Not to mention that in California, when a death occurs during the commission of a felony, it's a instant charge of first-degree murder for each dead body. However, it's never clear if any of the Libyans actually died. They may have just been knocked unconscious by the crash into the photomat. In which case, his troubles are far from over (fatwa, anyone?)

Likewise, when you take the whole trilogy into account, he and Marty are in violation of several FAA regulations for flying two different unlicensed aircraft, obstruction of justice, breaking & entering, train robbery, abandoning a vehicle on the train tracks, countless acts of destruction of property, littering, assault... The list goes on!

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