Disclaimer

On January 1, 2009, I started an experiment to write one new joke every day for at least one year. As 2009 rolled forward, the universe proceeded to deal me a series of events that left me with no lack of inspiration for new material. Most of these jokes have found their way into my on-stage routine, and most of them have become staples of my act.

Now that I have made it through my first year, my focus has shifted from quantity to quality. I still update with new jokes, just not on my original every frickin' day deadline. Please feel free to grade these jokes, and heckle them. If a joke gets heckled enough, I will go back and make them better. I want to make sure my audience gets their money's worth, even though this is a free service.

Saturday, November 14

There's always a bigger pain

I think I've figured out how I've managed to cope with all of the weird shit that has happened to me this year. You see, if you have a lot of stressful situations happen to you all at once, it can be overwhelming, and if they happen well spaced apart, you can get burned out. However, if it happens in quick succession like it happened to me, then each new crisis will distract you from the ones before it. Let me put it another way:

Have you ever gotten an itch in the middle of your back right where you can't reach it? Drives you nuts, doesn't it? Well, imagine you now notice that you are developing a hangnail. Your back still itches, but the hangnail is now taking priority. It hurts like hell the more you play with it, and it distracts you to the point that some sort of accident happens and BOOM! You break your arm! The pain is excruciating! But it's small potatoes compared to you suddenly getting your foot caught in a bear trap! And you now look down at your mangled leg, thinking, "I really need to do something about this... but for some reason my hair is now on fire!"

And so on, and so forth.
© 2009, Dan
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