Disclaimer

On January 1, 2009, I started an experiment to write one new joke every day for at least one year. As 2009 rolled forward, the universe proceeded to deal me a series of events that left me with no lack of inspiration for new material. Most of these jokes have found their way into my on-stage routine, and most of them have become staples of my act.

Now that I have made it through my first year, my focus has shifted from quantity to quality. I still update with new jokes, just not on my original every frickin' day deadline. Please feel free to grade these jokes, and heckle them. If a joke gets heckled enough, I will go back and make them better. I want to make sure my audience gets their money's worth, even though this is a free service.

Thursday, November 26

OK, I'll have some dessert, but then I gotta do lift some weights.

This year, my family used a Cajun Injector on the turkey. For a split second, I thought they had invited up a porn star from New Orleans. But it's this giant syringe used to inject the marinade directly into the meat. Again, I didn't know this. All I knew was when I walked into the kitchen, it looked like my stepdad was giving the turkey steroids. "You know that only works when the turkey is still alive, right? That'll have more effect on us than it will the bird." Although that would be funny. Everyone at dinner and suddenly all their voices drop an octave. Everyone starts arm wrestling over who gets the last crescent roll. My sweet little grandmother turns to me and demands to know how much I can bench press.

No comments:

Post a Comment