New Joke, Different Day: Hey, at least this one is Tartar Control

Disclaimer

On January 1, 2009, I started an experiment to write one new joke every day for at least one year. As 2009 rolled forward, the universe proceeded to deal me a series of events that left me with no lack of inspiration for new material. Most of these jokes have found their way into my on-stage routine, and most of them have become staples of my act.

Now that I have made it through my first year, my focus has shifted from quantity to quality. I still update with new jokes, just not on my original every frickin' day deadline. Please feel free to grade these jokes, and heckle them. If a joke gets heckled enough, I will go back and make them better. I want to make sure my audience gets their money's worth, even though this is a free service.

Saturday, March 21

Hey, at least this one is Tartar Control

I think the qualifications for "crimes against humanity" are too specific. I think they should be expanded to include, say, the guy responsible for Bud Light with Lime. He created a beer that tastes like a freshly shampooed carpet and actually convinced people to drink it.

Just how bad is this drink? If you left an unopened bottle on a street corner next to a bottle of mouthwash, the alcoholic bums will take the mouthwash and leave the beer.