Disclaimer

On January 1, 2009, I started an experiment to write one new joke every day for at least one year. As 2009 rolled forward, the universe proceeded to deal me a series of events that left me with no lack of inspiration for new material. Most of these jokes have found their way into my on-stage routine, and most of them have become staples of my act.

Now that I have made it through my first year, my focus has shifted from quantity to quality. I still update with new jokes, just not on my original every frickin' day deadline. Please feel free to grade these jokes, and heckle them. If a joke gets heckled enough, I will go back and make them better. I want to make sure my audience gets their money's worth, even though this is a free service.

Monday, March 30

Call your doctor to ask if it's right for you

I want to sign up for medical experiments just so I can fake side effects they've never seen before. That would make the commercials so much funnier. In a smooth baritone voice over, "Side effects may include intestinal palpitations, hot shoulders, green toenails, delusions of levitation, uncontrollable glibness and an inverted erection."
© 2009, Dan
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