On January 1, 2009, I started an experiment to write one new joke every day for at least one year. As 2009 rolled forward, the universe proceeded to deal me a series of events that left me with no lack of inspiration for new material. Most of these jokes have found their way into my on-stage routine, and most of them have become staples of my act.

Now that I have made it through my first year, my focus has shifted from quantity to quality. I still update with new jokes, just not on my original every frickin' day deadline. Please feel free to grade these jokes, and heckle them. If a joke gets heckled enough, I will go back and make them better. I want to make sure my audience gets their money's worth, even though this is a free service.

Saturday, March 7

Enjoy your kids' nightmares, irresponsible parent!

I used to get really bent out of shape when parents would bring their little kids to an R-rated movie. "You're bringing a four-year-old to Starship Troopers? Really?!?" But nowadays, I just sneak the kids some highly sugared candy to shut them up and I sit back and enjoy the movie, content in the idea that I'm not gonna have to deal with those kid's questions afterward.

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