On January 1, 2009, I started an experiment to write one new joke every day for at least one year. As 2009 rolled forward, the universe proceeded to deal me a series of events that left me with no lack of inspiration for new material. Most of these jokes have found their way into my on-stage routine, and most of them have become staples of my act.

Now that I have made it through my first year, my focus has shifted from quantity to quality. I still update with new jokes, just not on my original every frickin' day deadline. Please feel free to grade these jokes, and heckle them. If a joke gets heckled enough, I will go back and make them better. I want to make sure my audience gets their money's worth, even though this is a free service.

Wednesday, December 2

Stupid people and technology... bad mix

Why is it every time I have to wait in line somewhere for something simple like swapping out a DVR remote, I always get stuck in line behind someone who has lived in a cave for the past twenty years, and their first act in joining society is getting a digital cable package? This lady ahead of me actually said to the customer service rep, "I get all of these channels? I'm not gonna be able to watch all of these!" Like it's mandatory!

When they told her someone will need to be at her house between 10 and 2 tomorrow, she asked, "Someone besides me?"

She also signed up for the internet package, which I suspect will lead to the discovery that her laptop is, in fact, an Etch-a-sketch.

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