Disclaimer

On January 1, 2009, I started an experiment to write one new joke every day for at least one year. As 2009 rolled forward, the universe proceeded to deal me a series of events that left me with no lack of inspiration for new material. Most of these jokes have found their way into my on-stage routine, and most of them have become staples of my act.

Now that I have made it through my first year, my focus has shifted from quantity to quality. I still update with new jokes, just not on my original every frickin' day deadline. Please feel free to grade these jokes, and heckle them. If a joke gets heckled enough, I will go back and make them better. I want to make sure my audience gets their money's worth, even though this is a free service.

Wednesday, October 28

In light of H1N1, he should be exiled

I've seen a lot of people doing the gauges in their ear lobes, stretching them out beyond belief. But today, I saw a guy who was doing that to the sides of his nose. And these weren't the plug kind, they were the kind with holes, giving everyone a nice view of his sinus cavity. He was creating a brand new set of nostrils. I don't want to be around this guy when he has a head cold. When he sneezes, it's gotta look like the fountains at the Bellagio.

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