Disclaimer

On January 1, 2009, I started an experiment to write one new joke every day for at least one year. As 2009 rolled forward, the universe proceeded to deal me a series of events that left me with no lack of inspiration for new material. Most of these jokes have found their way into my on-stage routine, and most of them have become staples of my act.

Now that I have made it through my first year, my focus has shifted from quantity to quality. I still update with new jokes, just not on my original every frickin' day deadline. Please feel free to grade these jokes, and heckle them. If a joke gets heckled enough, I will go back and make them better. I want to make sure my audience gets their money's worth, even though this is a free service.

Thursday, October 15

Figures... The one thing I'm a savant with, and it's Madden '09

I've always been good at sports video games. It's not really a matter of skill, but mostly luck. I'm like the Forrest Gump of sports games: Something incredible always happens, but I don't have a clue how it happened. One time a friend got a new football game and I bet him $20 that I could beat him by pressing buttons at random. I beat him 56-3, and he only got the field goal because I stopped to take a drink of Dr. Pepper.

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