Disclaimer

On January 1, 2009, I started an experiment to write one new joke every day for at least one year. As 2009 rolled forward, the universe proceeded to deal me a series of events that left me with no lack of inspiration for new material. Most of these jokes have found their way into my on-stage routine, and most of them have become staples of my act.

Now that I have made it through my first year, my focus has shifted from quantity to quality. I still update with new jokes, just not on my original every frickin' day deadline. Please feel free to grade these jokes, and heckle them. If a joke gets heckled enough, I will go back and make them better. I want to make sure my audience gets their money's worth, even though this is a free service.

Friday, January 2

Chinese Food

Every time my friend and I go out to eat, he always wants Chinese food. I know he does this just so he can make the same joke every time about how you never see stray cats near Chinese restaurants. Then, he'd make meowing noises every time I'd take a bite. For years he's been doing this, and the other day I had enough. I waited until his mouth was full of food and I said, "You know what else you don't see near Chinese restaurants? Missing child posters."

He won't be getting that out of his head anytime soon. Now whenever he hears about an Amber Alert, he's gonna think Szechuan!
© 2009, Dan
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