On January 1, 2009, I started an experiment to write one new joke every day for at least one year. As 2009 rolled forward, the universe proceeded to deal me a series of events that left me with no lack of inspiration for new material. Most of these jokes have found their way into my on-stage routine, and most of them have become staples of my act.

Now that I have made it through my first year, my focus has shifted from quantity to quality. I still update with new jokes, just not on my original every frickin' day deadline. Please feel free to grade these jokes, and heckle them. If a joke gets heckled enough, I will go back and make them better. I want to make sure my audience gets their money's worth, even though this is a free service.

Saturday, January 10

No one wants to ride with me anymore

Every road trip I take begins with the purchase of raisins, beef jerky and a bottle of Gatorade. I guess if I'm gonna spend hours in a car, I might as well test the effects of electrolytes on dried food products. The irony comes later when my car needs gas and my body has too much.

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