Disclaimer

On January 1, 2009, I started an experiment to write one new joke every day for at least one year. As 2009 rolled forward, the universe proceeded to deal me a series of events that left me with no lack of inspiration for new material. Most of these jokes have found their way into my on-stage routine, and most of them have become staples of my act.

Now that I have made it through my first year, my focus has shifted from quantity to quality. I still update with new jokes, just not on my original every frickin' day deadline. Please feel free to grade these jokes, and heckle them. If a joke gets heckled enough, I will go back and make them better. I want to make sure my audience gets their money's worth, even though this is a free service.

Saturday, July 25

I don't think I can merge right now, Dave.

A new Mercedes can wake you up if you start to nod off, correct you if you wander into another lane and slam the brakes for you if an accident is eminent. When that day arrives that these luxury vehicles become self aware and start killing their drivers, I will be truly glad I chose a mid-range domestic car.

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